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As a bisexual man with cerebral palsy – the cluster of neurologically induced movement disorders – Willis has developed a wealth of responses to crass ignorance. '"Willis, 24, laughs and then scoffs – a snort of derision."Personally, the experiences I've had coming out have been very positive," he says.But preconceptions around bisexuality and disability pervade, and, says Willis, the gay scene is no less full of unhelpful attitudes."If you're disabled, people think it's their right to know how you're disabled, why, or how it happened: 'What's wrong with you?Excludes gift cards, alcohol, past purchases, tax and gratuity. Not valid with any other offers, including Eat & Play or Eat, Play, Win Combos. Past relationships have often ended because of "some element of my disability". Which is to say nothing of the encounters Willis experiences outside of dating.
Charlie Willis was dancing in a gay club with a man he had just met when the man tried to put his hands down Willis's trousers. There was, for example, the man on Grindr who said, "You're way too hot to be disabled." To which Willis replied, "No, mate. There's nothing about me or my identity that's exotic!
A couple of weeks later, he says, she was putting the laundry away and asked him, "'Charlie, do you think this is possibly a phase?
'' And I said, 'No, mum,' and she replied, 'OK, fair enough.'" And that was that.
Whichever he uses, before meeting anyone, there is something he always does: comes out about having a disability."I've never had the courage not to say anything about my disability, even if it's 30 seconds before we meet, I'd send a message: 'Just so you know, I walk with a stick, I have a disability.' The reason I do that is because it puts it there: Here's my issue, deal with it or fuck off." He looks down.
"I wish I didn't have to do that."On dating apps, he says some people simply stop talking to him when he reveals he has a disability.'" Bouncers, he says, ask his friends as they're entering a club, "Is your mate going to be alright? Or, he says, grinning, "more drunk than I actually am".Willis hasn't used only Grindr, but also sites like Ok Cupid."And the idea that disabled people have to be thankful for the treatment they received, regardless of if it's 'Please let me help you off the train' or 'You know there's a lift, right? People are surprised when I'm agitated; they feel like I have to be nice to them.