Sex chats sexer m
Just like IRL sex, we don’t really know how other people are doing it until we do it with them — that’s part of the mystique of a crush.Were other people sexting in the present tense, we wondered?“You bite down on those testicles like a lesbian band.” “I put my human rights in your tonsils, baby.” It’s genius, and it works because we know what the idea of a sext looks like. There’s no masking or flirtation in these sexts, they’re all pumped-up, demanding sex drive.Kind of like how the men on the Tumblr “Straight White Boys Texting” seem to imagine it works — as if chucking out a jarring demand of smut will begin a consensual sparring match of equally horny sexts.Mc Culloch also pointed out that we’ve developed a handy and not-weird way of theoretically enacting things in cyberspace, by using a third person present with asterisks either side.We’re used to reading Tweets that say *coughs*, *sighs* or *strokes beard*, and somehow they don’t feel at all Dungeons and Dragons-y. And yet, both Gretchen and I agree that this isn’t something we’d expect people to do in sext conversations, even though there seems to be a similar imaginative force behind them.She likes to remind her beloved that sex with them is on her brain.She uses it less as the beginning of a mutual storytelling exercise and more of an everyday update of their sexual relationship.
This makes present tense sexting sound like a genre, a format for using language that comes with expectations about context. That’s right — you are doing the same thing as a fifteen-year-old boy playing Dungeons and Dragons. Britney Spears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.bloodninja: I cast Lvl. As the creator of the @sextsbot account, she would know.
“It’s funnier the blunter it is,” Caldwell-Kelly says.
“Looking at the bot’s followers, I think a lot are the same generation as me, who probably did the exact same shut-in nerd sexual exploration before anything else and were confronted with this form of sex or flirting that’s really quite awkward and strained.” My friend Sara tells me she’s kind of into the out-of-context sext.
Sex can appear to be a horrific morass of messy desire to anyone not involved in it, or even to the people who are involved in it, right after it occurs. By remaining outside of the simple present of role-playing, I’m trying to retain just that shred of dignity that makes the act slightly less depraved when I look back on it afterwards.
24 hours, 249 responses, and a whole lot of IRL conversations later, and my Twitter poll has proved that a lot of people on the internet have sexting habits that I find fucking weird.*slowly pulls underwear down thighs* just doesn’t have the right ring to it.What I, personally, would like to do is avoid any semblance of comedy, which present-tense, counterfactual absurdity can quite easily induce.Communicating about sex, like a lot of actual sex, is a kind of negotiation, a dance between blunt statements of longing and the careful clarity to ensure that you’re not totally embarrassing yourself.